I watch QVC, HSN, etc., and ask myself, as many other people do: What is the catch? Where is the hustle? How do they do it?? I often up the ante a little, and ask myself: If I had a newbie sitting next to me, how could I explain why this product is a hustle?

But exercise equipment is a little different. The practiced eye can see, a priori, what the hustle is, although the spokes people are often so good and so convincing that even the practiced eye must stare for a while. I had seen the AB-DOer before, dismissed it as not effective, but on this particular viewing, I had a revelation of exactly why it was not worth the price charged.

For those who don't know what the AB-DOer is, it purports to develop what is probably one of the least useful (as far as everyday use) muscle groups in the body: the abs, which just happen to be America's obsession. Abs is short for abdominal muscles. We are talking about the muscles that give one a "washboard stomach" look. The AB-DOer is a chair with a spring in the back and with wing-like armrests, that allows you to bend to and fro, and side to side, while sitting down. Another miracle abdominal muscle product, that is, apparently, selling like hotcakes.

The first clue to the ineffectiveness of the AB-DOer is that the model they use to sell the machine in the advertisement, does not have well developed abs, herself.

Some of the claims made in the ad are: how you will lose inches (wrong), that this is also aerobic (wrong), that it will massage your back (wrong), and that abs are paper thin (wrong). The real question is why can't you sit in a chair, work your abdominal muscles and lose inches? Well, you could but the AB-DOer does not work the abdominal muscles. They say so in the ad. When? When they tell you how easy it is. Either the chair gives you a work out and you break a sweat or the chair is so easy to do that it does not work your muscles. It can't be both. What the spring back of this chair is actually doing is preventing the muscles in the lower torso (abs, various obliques) from doing any work at all. You might as well be in Grandma's rocking chair.

Consider a simpler scenario. Suppose you want to do waist bends, side to side. Many people will grab two large dumbbells, and start bending side to side. This is correct, right? Wrong. The correct way is to pick up one dumbbell, bend for x number of reps, and switch hands, and do another x number of reps. If you use two dumbbells, one weight is essentially canceling out the other, and the waist itself is doing much less work!

The spring on the back of the AB-DOer is doing the same thing: whereas the second dumbbell was counteracting the first dumbbell, the spring in the AB-DOer is counteracting gravity, which is what is making the waist muscles work when you bend over. (Gravity is acting with the dumbbells also; weights just heighten the effect.) The wide arm rest adds to this by allowing the arms to exert a varying torque around the spring, to make the bending even more effortless.

Logically we all know that if we do not exercise a muscle it will not tighten up, but it is so nice to think that we can have trimmer, firmer looking bodies with no effort at all. Knowing this, the people who sell this stuff knew exactly what they are doing. They know that with a few sexy models, and a few bogus testimonials, that they can sell anything, regardless of the violations of common sense, logic, physical law, or anything else. And they will continue to do it as long as we insist on getting something for nothing: flat abs (which is an impossibility anyway, for most people, yours truly included, but that is another article), beautiful bodies, muscles galore, with no substantial change in our lifestyles, is an impossibility.

Kristofer Hogg holds degrees in physics, chemistry, and nutrition, is a Registered Dietitian, and has an extensive background in machining and manufacturing processes. He did PhD research in Enzyme Kinetics, and developed the HoloBarre Fitness/Rehab/Stretching System, which should be available through physical therapists, personal fitness trainers, and dance schools by the end of 2001. You can email him questions/comments on health/nutrition/fitness as well as other inquiries to: physical@erols.com